random short bits

Page Three: Remarks 101-150


Flying Offices Overhead
Sandman Got Me Laid
Sleep *Then* Kill
Ein Frohes Neues Jah!
<Mute>
Full Moon On Tuesday
Fat Hairy Pussy
Talking to The Right Face
ThingieQuake
Voices to Shatter Sanity
Blame God
Professional Smartass
Lovely Package
Careful Wording
Tim Tam Addict
Toes and Knickers
Master Bakers Beware
Tree As Supplier
Perils of Tuesday Attacks
Bright Idea
Neil At Hot Topic?
On Thingies Great And Small
Named By Voices
NightWalker Threats Revisited
Hostile Takeover
Lady Miss Tour Guide
Freudian Thing
ASCII Art
A Word On Fate
Not From The Producers Of Sesame Street
Corinthian As Pun
Warm Christmas
Lego Monkey
Muppetastic Neverwhere
Shocking Declaration
Drop Bear Attack
For Anyone With Plans To Visit Germany
Mild Profanities
Initial Consideration
Email Down
Ignoring Neil
Sage Wisdom
New OS
Cthulhu Crunch
When Plushies Have No Shame
Quantas [sic]
Tuesday Bloody Tuesday
Negative Thinking
Wasabi Candy
Thingie Haven Down Under
 

Flying Offices Overhead - Lady Miss Tree and Ghost

LMT: Who is having office tennis played over her head as she types this.

G: Becareful they don't drop it on your head. I've never been hit with an office... sounds like it might hurt though.

Sandman Got Me Laid - Michael Alexander and Lady Miss Tree

M: 3. In 20 words or less, why is Neil the Chosen One?
Sandman got me laid once? Oh, fine, because everything he writes makes so much more sense than reality does.

LMT: Did you use the "Come up and see my Sandman original art" line, did you?" ;>

Sleep *Then* Kill - Jinx and Madame Melpomene

J: Well, that and the fact I kill and sleep with a lot of people in the novel.

M: In that order? :p  Mel, Who prefers to sleep with people *before* she kills them...

Ein Frohes Neues Jah! - Colt and bafog1

C: Or: happy new year to Thingies everywhere.

b: There's a german word for 'thingies?'  :)

C:Oh, pooh. Yeh, it would b something like "Dings", "Dingens", "Dingsbums" or "Dungenskirchen"

<Mute> - Lady Miss Tree, Reg and Mute

LMT: <Paul Kelly> Come up and see me, make me smile... </Paul Kelly>

Reg: <Mute>Don't you mean <Steve Harley and The Cockney Rebel>?</Mute>

Mute: It's true, I would have...

Full Moon on Tuesday - Harvey Lee

Zzzz... <snork>
<yawn>
<walks out in bath robe and bunny slippers>
Tuesday eh?
<takes down FHM poster of Rachel Stevens from S Club 7>
<puts up poster of Ricky Martin>
Hey 'Walker, how do I get stains out of a leather kilt again?

Fat Hairy Pussies - Mute and Lady Miss Tree

M: -who'll have to see if Tree wants to pet his fat, hairy pussy when she comes to visit...

LMT: [blinks] Wow, and Shira thought Harvey's comment was outrageous.

LMT: Mind you, pussies tend to decide whether to let you pet them, rather than the other way around.

Talking To the Right Face - bafog1

Nonononono, the line you must use (if you're into flooring people with tastelessness) is: "Pardon me, but the blow-job apparatus is up here" (said while pointing toward your face)

ThingieQuake - Ghost and Colt

G: Ghost, Who causes mortals to quake with fear and awe.

C: Um, maybe they´re just shaking with laughter...? ;-P

Voices To Shatter Sanity - Reg and Ghost

R: That's nothing. You should hear my vocal chords when I sing.

G: No no, you should hear mine...

R: Okay, karaoke machines at twenty paces.:-)

R: Be warned, my singing voice registers on the Richter scale.  Reg, (who can also play the piano like Rubenstein....Helena that is)

G: Ghost, who can carry a piano and herniate 2 discs in his back doing so.

R: Reg, (who has been told he couldn't carry a tune if it had handles)

Blame God - Terje Bless and Reg

T: Thou art god!

R: Oh sure, blame me for everything.:-P

Professional Smartass - Delirium and JAC

D: It amazes me you lasted this long.

JAC: heh. that's what all the women tell him.  Insufferably, JAC (who's a professional smartass, no rank amateur)

Lovely Package - Lady Miss Tree and Sally

LMT: Who hopes Colt gets a lovely package in the mail soon.

Sally: I'm sure Colt already has a lovely package.

Careful Wording - Bill2

:) I do SO hope that you enjoy what you get as much as I'm enjoying what you give. <re-examines that sentence, thinks about rewording it, decides against.>

Tim Tam Addict - bafog1

Tromps around with a cardboard sign:
WILL <word "STRIP" crossed out> MAIL CDS FOR WHITE CHOC TIM TAMS

Toes and Knickers - bafog1, Lady Miss Tree, Colt and Sally

b: How's the toe?

LMT: Purple and owie and not appreciating being caught in my knickers when I was trying to get dressed in a hurry this morning...

C: no matter how purple and owie, being caught in Tree´s knickers is ALWAYS appreciated...

S: So let me get this straight. Tree had a big, purple, swollen thing in her knickers. Lucky Tree!

Master Bakers Beware - VickyRa

oh yeah and my advice for the day is...

after cooking the perfect batch of banana cakes..do not run into a room full of guests and proclaim: "Aha! I am the Master Baker!!!"

unless you really are and they already know it :)

Tree As Supplier - Colt and Lady Miss Tree

C: <sings horribly out of tune but doesn´t care:>

C: Timtams, Timtams, a package full of Timtams! Trallalalalaaaaaa...

Timtams grow on a Lady Tree-e,
Merry Merry Queen of the bush is she-e
Seeeeeend Ti-im Ta-ams, seeeeend Ti-im Ta-ams
I will eat them aaaaalll!

LMT: See what drugs can do you, children?

LMT: Drugs are bad, m'kay?

LMT, Wheeler and dealer.

The Perils of Tuesday Attacks - Rachel Rosenblum and NightWalker

R: <starts circling looking for a weak point>

NW: <hugtackles from behind>

NW: HA! Never underestimate the power of a 'Walker on Mountain Dew.

NW: Oh wait... it's Tuesday. Ew. I've got woman-stuff on me! EwEwEwEwEw!!!

Bright Idea - Ghost and Lady Miss Tree

G: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

LMT: Does it depend on the size of the lightbulb?

Neil at Hot Topic? - tyg

OK, so who else is frightened by the thought of Neil doing signings at Hot Topics in malls?

There's a Kevin Smith film in this somewhere...

On Thingies Great and Small - Madame Melpomene

I was 4'11'' until high school when I had a growth spurt and shot up to the giant height of 5'0''...

Mel, Who is mostly perfectly happy with her height. :)
"Hey baby what's your sign?"
"'You must be at least this tall to ride...'"

Named By Voices - Dan Klein, Rachel Rosenblum and Colt

DK: Daniel Zenon Klein, call me whatever the voices command you to call me.

R: The voices command me to call you Abigail.

C: <bg> Rachel? Marry me!

NightWalker Threats Revisited - JAC

heh. shit, man. Walker has everything. provided it doesn't get stolen.

~runs to hide behind a conveniently upturned cafeteria table~

courageously, JAC (who, "if I find the guy that did this, I'm taking the fucker to the Mojave, setting his bitch-ass on fire, and putting him out with iodine. Repeatedly. Before I drag him for seventy miles behind my hummer over the harshest section of scrubdesert I can find.")

Hostile Takeover - Rachel Rosenblum

So, I can mark down afn-g as one more place that doesn't need to be eliminated when I start taking over the universe?

Lady Miss Tour Guide - Lady Miss Tree and Mute

LMT: Who adores showing off her fair city.

M: "...and this is the TV, and this is the VCR, and these are the Buffy tapes!"

Freudian Thing - Loz and Rachel Rosenblum

L: Tell me about your mother...

R: Can I lie down on the couch first?

L: Only if you put the gun down.

ASCII Art - Kitsune and Lady Miss Tree

K:  My buttocks are clenched in anticipation. ( ).( )

LMT: Now there is a piece of ASCII art that needs to be preserved with Harvey Lee's blink...

LMT: Who is watching a workmate demonstrate a remote control fart machine...
O_O O_O >_< O_o

A Word On Fate - Cassie and Simon Cheesman

C: happy belated, fate!

S: Ah, we should all enjoy a happy belated fate.

Not From The Producers of Sesame Street - Lady Miss Tree, Lucy Anne and Mute

LMT:[gentle nudge, whispering] It's an acronym, hon. No 'u'. QANTAS. ;>
Who knows us Aussies do odd things with the language too.

LA:"u" goes in honour, colour, and favourite. Not Qantas. Check.

M:[another nudge, whispering louder] It's still an acronym, LA. Nolower-case. QANTAS. ;)

Corinthian As Pun - Corinthian (the poster) and Scott

C: No pictures of me? I might have your eyes after all.

S: Was that a vague attempt at aqueous humor?

Warm Christmas - Lady Miss Tree

I'm dreaming of a hot Christmas
Just like the ones I used to know
Where the sunscreen glistens
And children listen
To cries of "Howzat!" on the sand...

Lego Monkey - NightSnake

On the subject of Lego, did anyone else ever make a big hollow cube and fill it with loosely packed Lego, then throw it at the wall above your Sisters' bed while she was in it ?

Or was I just a sick little monkey ?

NS
Who thinks you ought to try it if you didn't....... ;)

Muppetastic Neverwhere - Jinx and Tentree

J:  who always thought that Piggy might be a passable Hunter j/k

T:  Oh great. Not I have this image in my mind of Gonzo as deCarebas that I can't exorcize...

Tentree
who thinks Statler and Waldorf (the two old guys in the box) would make an excellent Croup and Vandemar

Shocking Declaration - Larry and Lady Miss Tree

L:  So you are SHOCKED! SHOCKED! that there are langorous, exotic bois under your bed!

LMT:  Shocked and OUTRAGED! ;>

Drop Bear Attack - Mute and bafog1

M:  be warned: the only reliable defense against a dropbear attack is to smear all exposed areas of skin with vegemite before walking outside at night.

b: EWWWWW! Chalk up 2 points to Mute for the grossness factor of his creativity

M: Creativity? Creativity? Why, if you don't want to trust the veracity of my defense intelligence, just wait until you step out for a midnight stroll unprotected, and find yourself suddenly having to cope with a compact ten-kilo furry snarling ball of Death Or Painful Mutilation From Above!

For Anyone With Plans To Visit Germany - Doc Vacation

Ein Bier bitte : A beer please
verpiss dich : piss off
Wo ist das Klo : Where is the toilet
Nein, ich moechte nicht mit dir schlafen : No thanks, I don't want sex

That should cover it

Mild Profanities - Veera

Aw, god damn*!  <snip>

*I hope this is not a mild profanity. I don't do mild profanities. If it is mild, then please insert "for fuck's sake". That, I trust, is not a mild profanity.

Initial Consideration - Sally and Scott

Sally: Naming children is fraught with peril. Not only do you have to think about possible connotations, you always have to watch out for initials, as well. My mother in Margaret Ann Walker (MAW) but when she was married to my father she was Margaret Ann Draper (MAD). She says now that that should have given her a clue that the whole thing was a bad idea.

Scott: Well my initials are SAC. I'd like to think the first connotation that comes to mind is Strategic Air Command.

Email Down - NightWalker and nathan

NW:  My e-mail's down. I can't access it.

n: I know what you're going through. We had to put our email down last year. It was pretty hard for all of us, especially little Timmy, but we pulled together and pulled through. Good luck, man.

Ignoring Neil - Lucy Anne

Ignoring Neil is like ignoring fireworks - you think you've got blinders on, but there'll be a little bit of movement and your head turns and you end up smiling like a 5 year old.

Sage Wisdom - NightWalker and Scott:

NW: ...when lying in bed to jot down some new ideas in your idea book that came into your head during the course of the day, make sure you're not using your normal, everyday-kind-of-writing fountain pen. (snip)

S: Another friendly tip....if you have any Sandman statues, don't place them anywhere on a shelf where they are near enough to jump off and commit suicide.

--Scott-- (owner of the world's only post-Kindly Ones Arabian Nights statue variant)

New OS - Seraph and NightWalker

S: <sigh> bloody pcs, give me unix any day...

NW: Eunuchs, the non-gender-specific OS.

Cthulhu Crunch - Scott and Maggie

S: Can a Cthulhu sat. morning series be far behind? ; )
--Scott-- (who can't wait to see the breakfast cereal)

M: Are you sure you don't mean *be* the breakfast cereal?
Maggie - stays crunchy in milk?

When Plushies Have No Shame - Lucy Anne

The most disturbing thing about the Death doll was the fact she was flashing her black underwear at everyone in the store thru the box. Honestly, what do you do when plushies have no shame!

But she's been in conversation with Eeyore since I brought her home yesterday. Should I be worried?

Quantas [sic] - Lady Miss Tree and Lucy Anne

LMT: [gentle nudge, whispering] It's an acronym, hon. No 'u'. QANTAS. ;>
<snipped sig> Who knows us Aussies do odd things with the language too.

LA: "u" goes in honour, colour, and favourite. Not Qantas. Check.

LMT: [another nudge, whispering louder] It's still an acronym, LA. No lower-case. QANTAS. ;)

LA: To quote Charlie Brown, AUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LA: <huff, huff, huff>

LA: Today's scream was brought to you by the letter "u"...

Tuesday Bloody Tuesday - Terje Bless

Is it Tuesday today?

So I come home from work after night shift and, as it's bloody freezing out, I decide a hot bath is just what the doctor ordered. I set the mp3-player to play a random album on repeat, throw some random bath gunk in the water without looking too closely at the label, and get in.

Now, an hour later, I'm walking around in a silk bathrobe, humming Barry White, smelling of Strawberry Delight, and feeling positively in touch with my feminine side.

So is it Tuesday? Of course it is...

Negative Thinking - Lady Miss Tree, Reg and Karen

LMT: Sparrow sweetie? What HAVE you been up to?... And can I have the negatives? ;>

R: "No" , "Not" and "Un.."

K: You missed "a-" and "dis-".

Wasabi Candy - Ivory

Too much halloween candy young lady? Or too much wasabi perhaps? Wasabi halloween candy? Now that would be appropriately scary.

Thingie Haven Down Under - Lucy Anne and Lady Miss Tree

LA: And I rather like the idea of it being "Lady Miss Tree's Harem for Wayward Thingies", but of course that's her call.

LMT: Oh, I'm SO getting that made up into a sign...

LA: Heh. Hope it's never necessary to put in a dungeon room :p